Pantoum One: As a last resort we'll fix the plumbing.

Dear Mister Minister of the Ministry of Defence
As a last resort we'll fix the plumbing.
Oh! The hum drum of tied shoe laces and national conquest,
it's just not getting me hot and bothered like it used to.

"As a last resort we'll fix the plumbing"
a military man called upon the doorstep.
It's just not getting me hot and bothered like it used to,
thinking of those long legs, explosions ringing in ears.

A military man called upon the doorstep.
He held out a note.
"Thinking of those long legs," explosions ringing in ears.
A death drum sounds from a radio in the kitchen.

He held out a note.
=We're open for business folks, God Bless!=
A death drum sounds from a radio in the kitchen
We will fight them on the beaches, fill our pockets full of sand.

We're open for business folks, God Bless
Dear Mister Minister of the Ministry of Defence
We will fight them on the beaches, fill our pockets full of sand,
Oh! The Hum Drum of Tied Shoe Laces and National Conquest!


No I told you before, only as a very, very last resort. Good day.